November 10

Five minutes to like

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The first meeting, the first impression – from this, any communication of two begins. Friendly party, conference, buffet, club, metro or street – there are many places where you can meet those who are interesting to us.

The first meeting, the first impression – from this, any communication of two begins. Friendly party, conference, buffet, club, metro or street – there are many places where you can meet those who are interesting to us. How do we behave when we want to meet? Where is it better to start? How to build communication? In order for the acquaintance to be successful, we need to have time to do a lot of things at once: to interest the interlocutor, to establish good contact with him, ask, tell something about yourself, show our strengths and at the same time not to go too far with “self-promotion”. In order to study this process in more detail, my colleague Mikael Yan staged closed parties in one of the Moscow youth clubs like “quick dates”. With this dating format, young people and girls communicate in pairs at the tables for several minutes, after which they transplant for the neighboring ones, and at the end of the evening they make a choice.

Questionnaires that the participants in the date filled during the experiment showed that the choice of a partner does not depend on our fantasies about what qualities (confidence, mind, sociability, sense of humor) he must certainly have. Western studies confirm that this also applies to weight, growth, age, the presence of previous marriages and children, education, nationality, religious affiliation. For the occurrence of sympathy, the behavior on the date, the course of the conversation is much more important.

Among the strategies of dating there are winning and not very. Girls, for example, highly value non -standardness in a potential partner: an unusual start of conversation, unexpected questions and topics. Street pickups who like to cause their “victim” a slight confusion know this well. The initiative of men in acquaintance, their activity and talkativeness, confidence, and passivity and silence more likely repel the initiative of. In girls, they are attracted to their ability to create comfort and ease in communication, interest in the conversation. Well, non -step is also valued high. Contrary to widespread opinion, young men are more likely depressing the desire of girls to shift all responsibility for the development of conversation.

The above does not concern long relations – they have their https://www.vap-resistance.fr/contactez-nous/ own logic and accents. Of course, the lack of a first vivid impression has a strong influence on the further novel, but it can fade against the background of talents and strong qualities that we gradually reveal in the partner. Fortunately, life is not a “quick date” and usually gives us more than 5 minutes to find out and feel a person.


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